How to Teach our young Daughters about Modesty

 

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Me and my 8 year old daughter, Janelle.

Now this post isn’t going to be that long because truly teaching our daughters how to embrace godly femininity is really only taught by (or through) being. So with that being said, I’m just going to share a few things to keep in mind as we foster their modesty.

1.  Remember that Modesty is about Character, not clothing.

A lot of professing Christian women believe that covering themselves up is legalism and/or bondage. But those of us who are truly walking with the Lord know that God is not pleased with any of this SELFishness or nakedness. We KNOW, that there is (and will always be!) a CLEAR distinguish between the women of this world and the women who are in Christ. Just the simple fact that these women still think that it’s okay to emulate celebrities (or other worldly women on social media) shows that they do not have the mind of Christ, and that they aren’t abiding in his Spirit. As Christians, we want to be conformed to the righteousness of God (which is found in Christ). And that transformation starts from the INSIDE out.

“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” (Romans 12:1-2)

2. Again, remember that we teach directly (and  indirectly) by being.

When we ARE modest (humble AND SUBMISSIVE) at heart, we won’t (and eventually won’t even desire to..because yes, it is a process!) dress OR BEHAVE in ways that are indecent or improper (for those professing godliness). This includes wearing revealing things that emphasize our figures, and draw insecurity out of other women and/or sexual attraction from men (and unfortunately other women as well). When we are being (as in living) modest, it’s like our daughters will inevitably inherit or derive those qualities (if we’re raising them).

 The just man walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him.”            (Proverbs 20:7)

3. Have fun (meaning delight in the things of the Lord), make Modesty look and feel as good as it is!

Remember that we’ve come to embrace godly femininity because our eyes have been opened by God enabling us to see in the spirit (things for what they are!). But our daughters are just children. And they are very vulnerable. Every way and where you turn sin is being glamorized (glorified). And if it’s hard for us being grown women to embrace our natural beauty with all of this brainwashing then what do you think our daughters are up against. Most likely, her favorite doll, character and/or TV personality is Antichrist suggestive. So it’s our job (especially as women) to make the gospel look attractive.

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good thingsThat they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” (Titus 2:3-5)

Practically, I try to take good care of myself because my daughter notices every little thing I do (and don’t!) do. I also give her a healthy amount of compliments and invite her in as much of my personal (womanhood) life as I can. For instance, I involve her in shopping for our clothes and beauty products so that she gains confidence and some individuality. Yes, I let her have her own identity. As long as it’s in Christ and I’m teaching her what that means.

She already knows that our private parts are called private for a reason and that it’s offensive to be out in public naked (or half naked!). She also knows that true beauty is called TRUE beauty for a reason (because its REAL). It’s how God created man. We’re not clowns (or dolls). So it’s not makeup and/or fake hair!

But anyway, I’ve already blogged on all of that. I just hope that this post encourages you as you also seek to raise your daughters up in the fear and admonition of the Lord♥♥ (Group hug!)

Much love,

Brandi

Single ladies, PUT SOME CLOTHES ON GIRL!

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A picture of me when I was a single (professing Christian) woman taking selfies after getting dressed for church one morning. I should’ve been preparing my heart for worship, not for vanity and/or seduction!

So I was just explaining to another sister in the Lord how women wearing immodest apparel effects more than just men. I was telling her how I can barely take a family trip to the grocery store because I don’t want my husband OR CHILDREN exposed to all these naked women. And this is the thing (because the world is going to do what the world does), my issue is with all these professing Christians. Especially single “Christian” women who call themselves praying for a godly man and/or marriage.

You see, if you are still walking around half naked and selfish (thinking that it’s everyone else’s problem for looking) then you are NOT in Christ and you are NOT ready to be a wife! How can you be ready for marriage when you don’t even honor or respect other people’s marriages (and families!)?

And if you have not been faithful in what is another man’s, who will give you what is your own?” (Luke 16:12, NKJV)

And please understand that this post is not a rant because I remember being in that same self absorbed place as a single woman. I was in my own little world (totally unaware).  So even though there are a lot of whores out here, I understand that not everyone is trying to be seductive. Some are just ignorant. That’s what I was. And oh how I wish that someone would’ve told me to put some clothes on! I had no idea. I had NEVER considered the fact that I may have been offending married people (and corrupting their children!).

So this post is for those who have an ear to hear. Modesty is so much more than apparel. It’s about humility, and love for other people. It doesn’t matter how nice her body is (or how beautiful she may be!), a true woman of God will conceal what she has to if that’s what’s best for others.

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit [through factional motives, or strife], but with [an attitude of] humility [being neither arrogant nor self-righteous], regard others as more important than yourselves. Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:3-4, AMP)

So don’t serve satan as a stumbling block. Consider what you’re wearing. And be honest, would you want your husband to notice another woman’s body? And I say notice (not look at) because not every man is full of lust. I can assure you that other women AND CHILDREN are noticing your nakedness as well. So humble yourself, and put some clothes on girl!

With nothing but love,

Brandi

♥♥ P.s If you really do desire a godly marriage, I want you to know that nudity repels godly men. If you’re interested, here’s a post on How To choose Modest apparel because this is also the reason why you’re feeling overlooked (or like you’re attracting the wrong men).

Zeeway Apparel

God does NOT like makeup

Now I’ve shared why I no longer wear makeup and fake hair but I want to revisit wearing makeup because this is something that a lot of women just don’t want to accept. God is not pleased with you painting your face in an attempt to enhance (or pervert, if you’re a man!) what He has created. If you would just allow yourself to honestly think of all the reasons makeup is worn, I can assure you that you will not find one righteous one. It’s demonic. It’s used to deceive, to seduce, to pervert, to manipulate, to pretend (costumes), to puff up (self esteem, which is pride!) and for pagan idol worship (ancient Egyptians, indigenous tribes, the occult, clowns and mimes etc.).  And for those of you who are trying to cover up acne, blemishes and scars, that right there proves that you are insecure and/or vain. Acne and other kinds of breakouts are indications that our bodies need to be properly cleansed or detoxed. And putting poison into your body (whether it’s cosmetic or food products) is not going to help. Not in REALITY. And scars show that we have been healed.  So if you’ve been burned or born with unique features (or you have just aged!) don’t be ashamed of your story. Makeup is ungodly. Let’s just be real, ya’ll know that we’ve picked this stuff up from the world. And it’s sad that we’re claiming to be so in love with God (or mighty in the Lord!) but when our appearance is threatened we will unleash hell.

And please hear my heart on this because I was there. I was the main one talking about, “This is my “Natural” everyday look.”

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2014, Me looking CRAZY with a lacefront wig! Taking pictures for my “Ministry” flyers.

Also, keep in mind that I am only addressing those who are professing Christ and godliness. We are supposed to be HOLY (set apart) and different but we’re being influenced by the world’s trends and emulating their celebrities.  Do not be deceived by those who say “Man looks at the outward appearance but God looks at the heart.” We need to not only read scriptures in context but we need to take the full counsel of God. The scriptures also say that the heart is deceitful above all things AND WICKED (Jeremiah 17:9), and that we are to abstain from the appearance of evil (1 Thessalonians 5:22) and that includes worldliness. Yes, there are a lot of self righteous, head covering, white washed tombs out here probably judging you. But I don’t have anything to do with that. I’m just simply telling you the truth. God is not fond of your IDOLS—makeup, hair weaves, high heels and jewelry etc. It’s all vanity!

“Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30)

And I’m not saying that holiness equates to homelyness and that we can’t (or shouldn’t) embrace [godly] femininity. We are BEAUTIFUL creatures and we enjoy beautiful things. And there is nothing wrong with that. God created us like that! That’s why satan is trying to kill, steal and destroy our roles and our identity as women. Don’t be ignorant of his devices. And start denying yourself the things your flesh desires! Trust me, your spirit has no need or desire for makeup, it’s all carnal.

This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.” (Galatians 5:16-17)

It’s a shame that us younger women don’t really have wise and pure older women to model after because most of our mothers and grandmothers are immature, busy bodies trying to keep up with the Joneses Kardashians. But nevertheless, it’s all laid out for us in the bible. May we open it and read it. And may we BELIEVE it.

With nothing but love,

Brandi

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Modesty thrift haul and more!

Since we’ve been talking a little bit about modest apparel and natural beauty, I thought it would be appropriate to share what I just bought from the Goodwill with you.  I am currently building a small capsule wardrobe so when I finish, I’ll share all the looks and details as well♥

Much love and prayers!

Brandi

♥♥If you’re new (or just interested!), here’s a few more posts on Modest apparel 🙂

How to choose Modest apparel

How I dress now after my encounter with Jesus

My Headcovering experiences

My go to headcovering style (tutorial)

My go to Headcovering style+a mini Headcovering haul

Hey Guys! So I thought I would share a very pretty and classy low bun headcovering tutorial in case anyone is new to covering their head during public worship (or just wanting more options!). Also, if you’re interested, here’s a link to my Headcovering experiences♥ 

Much love, Brandi Collins

♥♥Here’s a few more posts on Modesty:

How I dress now after my encounter with Jesus

How to choose modest apparel

Why I no longer wear any makeup or fake hair

My natural beauty tips for Christian women

 

3 natural beauty tips for Christian women+ my must have natural “beauty” products

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Now if you didn’t know,  I don’t wear any make up or fake hair. I believe all of that stuff is ungodly and you can read more about that here. But just because I don’t wear makeup or dress in certain ways, doesn’t mean that I don’t have or understand the desires we as women have to look and feel pretty.

I never said that holiness equates to homelyness. No, we’re not supposed to obsess over our outward appearances but it is not a sin to look nice or presentable (according to what’s nice and presentable to God of course). So, I just wanted to clarify that and share 3 ways that I personally take care of my physical appearance.

1. By embracing our uniqueness

Let’s face it! We are called to be different. We are God’s very own representatives on the earth and God is HOLY. When you accept that painting your face is not of God and how we are told not to “fashion” ourselves after this world, then the holy Spirit can (and will) begin to direct you on what is and isn’t lovely and/or appropriate for those professing godliness.

“And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” (Romans 12:1-2, NLT)

As individuals,  we also have to accept what we were born with. For instance, I would prefer super long and thick healthy hair but my hair is super thin and currently shoulder length (I’m working on it!) but the point is, we may never have someone else’s skin tone, hair texture, body type etc. So we have to be content with who we are and in what we have.  And if it’s something you can naturally fix like your weight or my hair length then we have to be PATIENT. It didn’t take one day to gain 100 pounds  or to damaged your skin (or in my case hair!). So it’s going to take more than one day, one month or possibly even longer than one year for us to properly heal.

2. Eating well

Now this is also a very important tip. And as Christians, we should understand the concept of “FROM THE INSIDE OUT”. God, in all of His kindness and wisdom provided everything we need (through WATER, and every herb bearing seed and trees) to look and feel good physically. In addition to Genesis,  I know this to be true because I’m a vegetarian and I usually eat my food raw or cook every meal from scratch (And I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with eating meat. There’s not!).  Now I don’t do much physical exercise other than indirectly through household chores, but my husband has been my motivation to start working out.  He looks (and says he feels) SO good just from doing daily push ups and of course, eating well.  If you’re into fitness, I would love to hear what works for you. And if you’re interested in what to eat (or in what I eat) just let me know and I’ll share all of that in an additional post.

3. Using Natural Products

Now this goes hand in hand with number 2 because the products we use on our bodies are just as important as what we’re eating.  I try to just stick with organic products that can also be used to cook with. But of course, just like every other woman I get enticed by lovely smells and by beautiful packaging 🙂 So whenever I do buy commercial products, I just make sure to read all of the ingredients and labels. You will never look and feel your best if you’re continuously dumping poison into your skin and gut.  So I encourage you to just stop and think about that. You may think that someone vain is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen but just wait until they take off all that make up and weave and all of that “trendy” clothing. It’s a deception. They don’t even want to see themselves like that. They might even be a man! It’s all lies and stumbling blocks. Beauty as we know it is NOT of God.

But anyway, that’s a whole’nother post. I  hope that you’ve enjoyed this one, and I want you all  to know that embracing (godly) femininity isn’t a crime, It’s a must!

With nothing but love, Brandi

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Now I literally just “woke up like this” (clear skin)

 

♥♥Here’s a list of my favorite, must  have products

Skincare:

African black soap and Shea Moisture’s Olive oil and Marula baby wash

My DIY Lavender body butter and my DIY Peppermint (or lemon) sugar scrub
Raw Shea butter
Unrefined Coconut oil
Avocado oil
Extra virgin Olive oil
Sweet almond oil
Castor oil
Vitamin E oil or capsules

Essential oils (100% pure essential oils can be expensive so I am slowly but surely building my collection. I have a few essential oils mainly for DIY household cleaning products but the ones I often use for bath and body are Lavender, Eucalyptus, Lemon and Peppermint.)

Hair care:

I am currently using ( and loving!) Shea moisture and Mielle products on my hair.  I definitely plan on making my own but for now it’s just trail and error. I  also use some of the oils on my hair that were mentioned above.

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♥♥Side note: If you’re interested, I also blogged on how I dress and How To choose modest apparel!

How to choose Modest apparel

For this is God’s will: that you become holy, that you keep away from sexual immorality, that each of you know how to possess his own body in holiness and honor, not in lustful passion like the Gentiles who do not know God. (1 Thessalonians 4:3-4. NET)

If you haven’t read my post on how I dress as a Christian woman then you should also check that out because this post is just going to be about how to choose modest apparel.

Now, I know that there are a lot of “white washed” women out here but that doesn’t justify vanity or lack of discretion. Because either way,  a woman who is truly holy and God fearing will not present her body in a provocative (or worldly) manner.

Generally speaking , the outward appearance really is a reflection of the sanctification process that’s taking place within. I am a witness to this! I started dressing different because my MIND changed about what I used to believe was cute or appropriate for godly women. This is just one of the ways we are transformed by the renewing of our minds. Only then can we truly tell whether we are dressing appropriately or not.

 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. (Romans 12:1-2)

It’s like how is it that we think that we’re so set apart when we look (and behave!) just like the women of the secular world. It’s because we’re deceived! And I remember being in that place, not even considering the fact that my clothes didn’t match my profession (which was that I was a Christian woman who knew God). Looking back I can admit that I was all talk. Obviously, I did not know God or have His spirit because if I did, I wouldn’t have been so comfortable dressing raunchy and provocative.

But again, this post isn’t about the way I dress. I believe that we need to leave our own personal convictions (or decisions) out of the equation lest we cause division. Therefore, I’m just giving you some things to consider in general as you get dressed as a “Kingdom Ambassador”.

Because that’s the thing,  if anything, we are to be exalting God, not our clothing! If you are still trying to express yourself through “fashion” then you are still a little immature. And that just real.  That immodest heart (and mindset!) is all about emulating others and worshiping Self. It’s about drawing attention from men (and other women!) to your body and sexuality.  It is about trying to be beautiful and desirable when you are should be continuously dying to yourself (your will and desires). On the contrary, true Modesty is about humbling ourselves and exalting God. It’s about honoring our body (which is God’s temple), other people (especially other people’s marriages and children) and the scriptures. I can still be feminine without being vain or inappropriate. In fact, godly femininity doesn’t even require all of that.

Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. (Proverbs 31:30)

If I really want to dress Modesty then the Bible tells me exactly how to do that. We are even told what to “put on” spiritually!

  • This I say, therefore, and testify in the Lord, that you should no longer walk as the rest of the Gentiles walk, in the futility of their mind, having their understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart; who, being past feeling, have given themselves over to lewdness, to work all uncleanness with greediness. But you have not so learned Christ, if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught by Him, as the truth is in Jesus: that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness. (Ephesians 4:17-20)
  • Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy.  But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts. (Romans 13:13-14)
  • Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.  (Colossians 3:12-14)

So after we start there, we can began to assess whether or not our physical clothing is appropriate.  You may even find yourself  shopping at different places then you would normally. I am 5’8 and I weight about 135 pounds so right now, in the current state of this world, the only place I can find modest apparel for my body type is at the goodwill.

Eventually I plan on making my own clothes but for now this is where I shop and STILL I have to check myself. When choosing the right apparel it can be very helpful to ask yourself things like:

Why do I like this shirt, skirt or dress (etc.)?

Am I at peace with it or am I indecisive?

Does this cost too much?

Do I find self worth or value in designer items? Do labels puff me up? Would I feel some type of way wearing cheap or resale clothes?

What type of people usually wear these prints or trends (etc)? Am I emulating celebrities or will I be associated with ungodly groups of people?

Am I seeking the admiration or approval of men (and women!) or am I seeking the approval of God?

Do (or will) I look like I have an intimate relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ wearing this or would people assume that I am living the American dream or the night life?

Is this clothing too tight or see through in the natural light??

Are areas close to my private parts (thighs, stomach, cleavage etc.) exposed? Are my private areas showing? Would they show if I  bend/ lean over,  sit down, reach up etc.??

Do I feel sexy or fierce wearing this? Do I feel socially (economically) puffed up wearing this?

Do I get fashion inspiration from celebrities or from other people on social media who don’t know or love God?

These are just some things to think about. We should be asking ourselves these kinds of questions because not only are we to abstain from the appearance of evil but because Modesty is an attitude. So is my attitude concerning the way I dress selfish and prideful? or am I thinking of others?? And if the process has just begun, am I willing to let go of all my favorite clothes that do not glorify God because I love Him more than anything and I understand that I am not my own!?

What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)

So, now that we know that we are to dress with humility in a respectable manner (not being inconsiderate and/or flashy), we do not seek to draw attention to ourselves knowing that our true beauty and identity comes from our godly character in Christ Jesus.

♥♥

Much love,

Brandi

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How I dress now after my encounter with Jesus

 

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Around this time I was a professing Christian and going to church faithfully!

When I look at old pictures of myself I just can not believe how unseemly I carried myself as a woman claiming to be like Jesus. We, as in Christian women are so entangled in this world that now we’re dressing up vanity as Modesty which has nothing to do with apparel. We are being taught that being modest means throwing on a “cute” dress with some heels and some jewelry! But true modesty is about character. It’s about humility which yes, can be seen in the way we carry ourselves but it does not stem from how we dress. 

“I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.” (1 Timothy 2:9-10)

You see a woman who is truly modest will most likely go unnoticed because she isn’t trying to draw vain glory to herself, not even through her clothing. And I know that some of you may think that God isn’t that concerned about the outward appearance but in context, that is not true either. We are to glorify God  (not our flesh!) in our bodies and our spirit.

“What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.” (1 Cor 6:19-20)

I have been led to cover my body with long, loose fitting skirts and dresses because it is not God’s will that we be objectified or stumbling blocks to other people. 

Now just for the record, I don’t think that it’s sin for a woman to wear pants. Are there pants that are inappropriate and completely demonic!?? YES. But in a general sense I believe that the scripture being referred to here is really just condemning homosexuality and cross dressing. But then again, I am not God so my opinion doesn’t even matter. You have to make sure that you are being led by His spirit.

So with that being said, I encourage you to seek the Lord concerning the way you dress because there is no godliness or modesty in emulating celebrities or other worldly women on Instagram (or Pinterest!). I’m just sayin’…

With nothing but love,

Brandi

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If you’re interested, I also blogged on How to Choose Modest Apparel.

♥♥