The Mission of Motherhood book review

Let me just start by saying that as a mother, reading edifying books is one of the ways that I refresh myself . So when Sally Clarkson began to wrap up her message explaining how a mother whose well is dry can not continue to give to others without cratering, I was beyond convinced that this book is a treasure.

See Sally Clarkson has been more than a mentor to me .  She has served as THE mother of mothers to us in The Mission of Motherhood although she would probably disagree.

I am not the perfect mother but my vision and understanding of God’s design and intentions gives me a standard of maturing to grow toward.

-Sally Clarkson, The Mission of Motherhood

I have never read a book on motherhood that unapologetically addressed the Mother’s role in the home.  This book is filled with so much perspective and truth, which is so supportive and encouraging to those of us trying to be godly mothers in this satanic world. The book is filled with her (and her children’s) very own personal stories and testimonies. But not in a braggadocios way because ain’t nobody got time for that! But seriously, the personal stories and analogies are very thought provoking and bring much clarity.

One of the many things I took away from this book was the fact that I need to lighten up.  The behaviors I find irritating or unsettling in my children are normal, which confirmed my recent convictions to just allow my children to be children. I can be a bit of a drill sergeant and not only does that hinder my relationship with my children but more importantly, their relationship with God. And concerning that, I was reminded of how our emotions and attitudes influence the spirits of our children.  And by no means is that an excuse to let our children be manipulative (or bound with folly!), it’s just a sobering reality that should keep us on our knees. Which is another thing that I loved about this book. Sally talks about motherhood being a partnership with God. Which is true. Not only have we been blessed to assist God in bringing human life into this world but we’ve been given the noble task of nurturing their precious souls unto the Lord. NOTHING in the workplace can compete with that—Truly impacting generations for the better and ushering people into the kingdom. So, if you have a desire to be a good (godly) mother please check out this book because this review doesn’t do it any justice!

Group hug♥
Brandi

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My Breastfeeding tips for first time nursing mothers

Being a mother definitely marks a new chapter in a woman’s life no matter how many times she may find herself with child. And for me, this time around has been very different because it is my first time breastfeeding.

I have been exclusively breastfeeding our baby girl Lauren for the past 10 months and have been wanting to give other first time nursing mothers a “head’s up”.  So keep in mind that this is just information on how to get started.  If you would like me to share more things on breastfeeding like how I pump or  increase (and decrease!) my milk supply, my nursing diet etc. then just let me know and I’ll make additional parts to this post. But in the meantime let’s get started!

Now the first thing that I would recommend for those of you who are new to breastfeeding is Google. Yes, do your research and get familiar with breasts.

I read COUNTLESS books and articles while I was pregnant. I even watched (way too many!) youtube videos. Some of them were of animals! Now of course you don’t have to be that extreme but I would definitely encourage you to research the process and to examine yourself. The more comfortable (and knowledgeable) you are with your breasts the easier it will be learning how to breastfeed, especially from other people.

And speaking of other people,
Read blogs and talk to other women with experience.

Don’t get me wrong, “professional” opinions are okay but you want to get advice from people who are actually experiencing (or have experienced) what you will be. No shade but I prefer someone who could offer me a little more than book reports and word of mouth. But to each her own. If you are the type to get peace of mind from consulting with professionals, just make sure you’re getting help from EXPERIENCED doctors or nurses who are (or at least want to be!) mothers. And if you have friends or family members who have breastfed then that’s even better. I didn’t have anyone so I asked to have a lactation consultant come and talk to me during our stay at the hospital. She was very helpful. She helped me get through the first couple of days because the nurses were making my experience VERY stressful. Which leads me into the next tip..

Relax and get to know your OWN baby. Always remember that everything isn’t for everybody.

Like I mentioned before, researching is a good thing but setting laws and standards isn’t. Allow yourself time to grow. Especially at the hospital. Your baby is not only new to breastfeeding but to BREATHING in general. Be patient and gentle. Don’t let anyone, not even the doctors ruin  your experience.  For what it’s worth, a lot of the videos I watched on latching were useless. At least for me and my baby.  And that’s the thing, you’ll learn what works best for you and your baby. Each and every family is different so don’t take everything to heart.

And speaking of the heart, Guard it!

We live in a very perverted generation where women think there’s strength in being masculine. Embrace your true femininity. There is nothing more beautiful than a submissive wife and selfless mother. You have to be encouraged because the majority of women will have that “I don’t know how you do it” attitude. Especially selfish mothers or women without children! Don’t be afraid to stand your ground. Even if that means telling your husband that you don’t want any visitors until you guys figure some things out.

Get a manual breast pump

This will be your best friend. Especially if you have a fast let down or an over supply of milk like I did. Trust me,  get one while you’re pregnant and bring it to the hospital with you. And while you’re at it,  grab a few nipple shields too!

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The Lactation consultant at the hospital gave me this manual breast pump and some nipple shields. To this day, I have only used this pump. She doesn’t know how much of a blessing she has been!

Don’t buy into the hype

Now I have to throw this out there because there is nothing wrong with formula feeding! I didn’t breastfeed any of my older children and you wouldn’t know the difference (as far as development goes). Going forward my husband and I just decided to breastfeed because it’s natural and I am embracing godly femininity. Yes, I know that the food industry isn’t trust worthy but what I’m saying is, is just feed the baby.  Don’t let pride and/or idolatry creep up in it.

And last but not least, don’t give up! Just pray.

I’ve noticed that a lot of the things I learned in the beginning were not even applicable until I was about 3 or 4 months in. That’s why we’re repeatedly told not to give up. Especially not within the first 3 months. It really does get easier. I wanted to give up SO many times. So ultimately, my advice to you would be not to give up when it gets tough, just PRAY! That is what has helped me the most.  At the end of the day, no one can help you more with this than God. And not only because He’s GOD but because breastfeeding was all His idea!! He strategically designed our bodies to give (and to receive) His provision. So ask Him to help you and your baby do all that He had originally intended.

So yeah,  I hope that this post helps! And I would love to hear all about your breastfeeding experiences or aspirations!

Group hug!!

Brandi

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Me nursing Lauren❤

The Peaceful Mom book review

A fun fact about me is that I LOVE TO READ. I am always reading something! So with that being said, I thought that I would start sharing with you all what books I am currently reading. Right now, I have about 3 books in rotation but before I finish any of them I want to take a minute to share my thoughts on a book that I just finished: The Peaceful Mom by April Cassidy

Quick disclosure: I will only be reviewing books that in my opinion are worth reading. I am not going to waste my time (or yours!) reading (or mentioning) random books that aren’t edifying. So basically, you can assume that every book I review, I am recommending.

Just thought I’d throw that out there..

But anyway, many of you may already be familiar with April Cassidy, The Peaceful Wife. And if you aren’t, here is a link to her blog (you’ll want to thank me later but all glory belongs to God!). I have been following her ministry for about 3 years now and she has inspired me to humble myself as a woman and to become truly anchored in Christ.

When she shared that she was finishing up The Peaceful Mom, I was beyond excited because I often feel like I am failing in that area. And to be honest,  I wasn’t that interested in reading her first book The Peaceful Wife because I assumed that whatever she was talking about would already be covered on the blog. But after reading this,  I don’t even care. I’m going to read it because now i’m wondering what other provision God has provided through it for my marriage.

But that’s another post for another day.  I’ll be sure to let you know but for now here are my thoughts on The Peaceful Mom!

First things first. This is not your typical (and carnal!) “How To”  be a better mom book. This book focuses more on building your relationship with God than with your children (which I love!).

In the Peaceful Mom, April walks us through (with scripture!) correcting our negative beliefs, thoughts and emotions towards God, ourselves and toward other people (especially our children). She also teaches (or reminds) us that true peace can only be found in right standing with Jesus.

Now like I mentioned before,  I wanted to read this book because I have been all over the place emotionally as a mother. And I’m also a step mother so I want to make sure to have a healthy and impartial relationship with my step daughter.

What I like about this book is that it features some of her own personal stories as well as testimonies from other men and women, which is encouraging because it highlights how even though our circumstances are different we all have struggles (and are overcoming!). Another thing I liked was how throughout the entire book she continually addresses sin and points us back to Jesus. That is also why I appreciate her blogs.  April Cassidy know she be preaching the gospel!

But ultimately,  what I took away from this book was, and I quote, “A peaceful mom knows God intimately and follows him wholeheartedly.” After reading The Peaceful Mom I not only found myself coming to repentance, but I also found myself respecting my husband as a parent AND my children. Obviously I recommend this book. It is a must read (even if you are a single woman without a husband or children). I will definitely be revisiting this book because it is full of prayer and wisdom.

So there it is! I hope that you guys enjoyed this book review because like I said, I’ll be doing them quite often. Also, I would love to hear about what edifying books you’ve been reading so please share them with me in the comment section! Much love!!

Your sister,
Brandi

Don’t forget to visit April Cassidy’s blog:
Peaceful Wife
Peaceful Single girl

When your children aren’t interested in the Lord

 

It can be frustrating, and ultimately heartbreaking when your children seem to have no genuine interest or affection for the Lord. This is something that I have been experiencing lately. All of my kids believe in God but one of them in particular just isn’t that enthusiastic about living a true Christian lifestyle. So I thought that I would share with you all how I’m able to be at peace with it all.

Now first of all, I just want to address the fact that we are NOT exempt from having unbelieving children. There were plenty of godly people in the Bible with perverse offspring . I know we like to believe that out of all these people in the world, that our entire families are going to be part of that FEW saved by the Lord.  But don’t be naive, Jesus himself told us that households will be divided so it would be wise to take in the full counsel of the Word and let the scriptures sober us.

“Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household. He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” (Matthew 10:34-37)

Now does this mean that we can or should just give up hope and throw our children over to the wolves ? Of Course not. Especially if you have young children like mine who need to be stewarded. What this means is that we are not to love our families more than we love God because if they really do decide to reject Him we’ll either try to override their free will or shrink back in fear and compromise (usually by tolerating their blasphemy and/or worldliness). And I’m not gone lie, whenever any of my kids start acting all nonchalant about the things of God naturally I just want to freak out. But as I really begin to pray for them that burden I think I have to carry as a parent is lifted.

“Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)

And that’s the thing, I can have peace knowing that the battle is truly not mine to fight. My job is to simply pray without ceasing and to live out the gospel (and not because my children are watching but because I fear God and because Jesus is the Lord of my life). That is what’s important because if we can just be honest with ourselves, we are probably the main reason why our children aren’t interested. Maybe you came to the Lord when you were older so your children are already grown. Or maybe you were just a little too zealous like I was and repelled them off with MANY words! See I used to think that I was the holy Spirit and that it was my job to convict my children of their sins and to reveal all kinds of “truth” to them. But I must’ve forgotten that I don’t have any power. I couldn’t even change myself! So I just needed to BACK OFF and let GOD be God.

But anyway, ALL OF THAT just to say that at the end of the day all we can do is work out our OWN salvation with fear and trembling and pray that they’ll do the same.

Group hug♥

Brandi

Being a homemaker: Why I quit my job to stay home full-time

“She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.”(Proverbs 31:27)

In a generation where being a “boss” chick takes precedence over assisting your husband and raising children, it’s no surprise that quitting my job to stay home full-time seemed to be anything but noble.

I remember old friends and family members being a bit concerned because financially speaking, we shouldn’t have been able to make that move. But that’s the thing, I didn’t become a stay at home wife or a homeschooling mom to try and keep up with the Joneses. My husband and I understood the seriousness of fostering a godly family.

We knew that there was no way for me to truly be attentive to my husband (or available for my children) working a full time job with crazy retail hours. And for me, the solution wasn’t to just get another job because taking a step down (or working part-time) in some ways still meant neglecting my God-given responsibilities.

You see homemaking is so much more than just lounging around in your pajamas all day long, and it is certainly more than just cooking and cleaning or doing NEVER ENDING laundry. So I want to share what it is that I actually do at home, and I hope in the midst to encourage some of you who are either new to homemaking or weary in well doing.

So first things first, being suitable for my husband.

Now I married a man who loves God and is seeking His kingdom and His righteousness, so that means that he is often a target for hatred and ridicule. My job is to not only BE but to create (and maintain!) a peaceful, loving and godly place for him to rest and to regroup after a hard exhausting day.

Now I don’t know about you but there is NO peace or love or gentleness or GOODNESS in and of myself. I get these qualities from walking very closely with the Lord. If I were still out  working some stressful and unfulfilling (or exciting and “fulfilling”) job, I wouldn’t have the time, energy or even the desire to spend my extra time praying and reading the Bible or marriage blogs! And I’m just being honest. Staying home allows me to go as deep as I want with the Lord, without any vain distractions or divided loyalty between him and work . The Lord is my foundation. So first of all, I spend my days at home seeking him. THEN I can begin to built or “make” my marriage pleasant with a renewed mind and with fruits of the Spirit.

“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.” (Proverbs 14:1)

Discipling my children

Before I got married I was a single (and working!) mother of 3 children, so I understand that you have to do the best that you can do. But now that I am married with a working husband there is no need for me to work or to desperately allow my children to be raised by daycare providers and teachers unbelievers.

This world is blatantly pushing Satan’s agenda and I would be a fool to just volunteer my children over to the system. God has given us parents such an awesome (but big and serious!) responsibility to teach our children about Him and His ways.

It’s like we’re always looking for some grand opportunity to witness to somebody as we overlook our very own children who also need to hear AND SEE the gospel. And by no means does this mean that my children are perfect (or exempt from anything) but that’s okay because I’m not raising them upright for my own pride or glory anyway.

This life is not a game. And even though ultimately they have to live their own, my job as a parent is to lead them (by example!) onto the right path in hopes that they’ll go on to follow Jesus.

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)

So yeah, this is why I quit my job to stay home full-time. And what a blessing it is to be able to commit like this!

Much love,
Brandi

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