3 Reasons why Single women shouldn’t prepare to be Wives

IMG_20151123_131258

2015, Sharing a picture of my engagement ring.

Let me just start off by saying that I am not discouraging single women from desiring marriage. I am a happily married woman, and marriage is honorable. My goal is to simply encourage my single sisters in the Lord.

Trust me, I may be a wife now but I still remember what it felt like being single, waiting for a spouse. So I just want to share a few things with you in hopes that they’ll help you focus more on the Lord (and not on yourself or on a spouse!) in this valuable season of your life.

So let’s get right into it..

Now the first reason why I believe that single Christian women shouldn’t be preparing to be wives, is because the truth is that you will never truly be prepared to be a wife.

Getting married is like having your first baby—You can read all the books, consult the most experienced mothers, child proof your home and even stock up on all the best diapers and bottles! But nothing that you do could ever prepare you for the unforeseen challenges of parenting your individual child. And it’s the same way with a spouse. You don’t know what his past held (or what his future entails!), so how can you prepare to be suitable? Being a good wife isn’t about being a “good woman” in general. It’s all about being suitable for your specific husband. And even if you are dating who you believe is going to be your husband, I can guarantee you that he is not all that God would have him to be right now. Marriage is a very humbling, refining process. So who you guys are now may not be what the other needs or will even be attracted to later! Both of you will go (or grow) through some very drastic changes (if you’re truly walking with the Lord). So the best way to prepare for anything for that matter is to receive the Holy ghost and abide in that Spirit.

 

(The picture on the left is from early 2016, when we first got married. The picture on the right was from a cpl weeks ago, and we’re STILL growing in the Lord!)

2. Men and marriage become idols

“For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.” (Ephesians 5:5)

You may not want to admit it but when we’re single we are VERY covetous. We want a man, a husband, a wedding, a “godly marriage”, a family etc. And eventually we become so consumed by those desires that we find ourselves discontent with just Jesus (we may even find ourselves jealous and hating on others!). Coveting is sin. And so is ungratefulness. Whether you ever get married or not, marriage is still beautiful and God is CERTAINLY still good.

3. Preparing to be a wife causes us to focus too much on ourselves.

When you spend your entire singleness focused on building yourself up or into something you in your own pride deems creditable or “good” you are just creating a big selfish (and haughty!) monster that will eventually have to die hard (unless it succeeds in ruining your marriage!). Marriage is all about serving, submitting, and refinement, so focusing on your SELF while you’re single (or as a follower of Jesus Christ in general!) is a BIG NO-NO.  And I’m not saying that you shouldn’t learn how to cook or be responsible with finances but these are things (like abstaining from sexual immorality!) that you should be doing anyway. I am completely against feminism, but you don’t need a man in order to obey the Lord or to be a good steward of your life and temple.

So I hope that you guys hear my heart on this. I love you, and I’m praying for your joy and strength!

With nothing but love,

Brandi

IMG_20150710_193717

When I was a single girl, I was so superficial. I just wanted to be a wife in general. Now all I want is to be “fit” for the Kingdom, and to be apart of the TRUE bride of Christ!

♥♥

Single ladies, PUT SOME CLOTHES ON GIRL!

Made with Square InstaPic

A picture of me when I was a single (professing Christian) woman taking selfies after getting dressed for church one morning. I should’ve been preparing my heart for worship, not for vanity and/or seduction!

So I was just explaining to another sister in the Lord how women wearing immodest apparel effects more than just men. I was telling her how I can barely take a family trip to the grocery store because I don’t want my husband OR CHILDREN exposed to all these naked women. And this is the thing (because the world is going to do what the world does), my issue is with all these professing Christians. Especially single “Christian” women who call themselves praying for a godly man and/or marriage.

You see, if you are still walking around half naked and selfish (thinking that it’s everyone else’s problem for looking) then you are NOT in Christ and you are NOT ready to be a wife! How can you be ready for marriage when you don’t even honor or respect other people’s marriages (and families!)?

And if you have not been faithful in what is another man’s, who will give you what is your own?” (Luke 16:12, NKJV)

And please understand that this post is not a rant because I remember being in that same self absorbed place as a single woman. I was in my own little world (totally unaware).  So even though there are a lot of whores out here, I understand that not everyone is trying to be seductive. Some are just ignorant. That’s what I was. And oh how I wish that someone would’ve told me to put some clothes on! I had no idea. I had NEVER considered the fact that I may have been offending married people (and corrupting their children!).

So this post is for those who have an ear to hear. Modesty is so much more than apparel. It’s about humility, and love for other people. It doesn’t matter how nice her body is (or how beautiful she may be!), a true woman of God will conceal what she has to if that’s what’s best for others.

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit [through factional motives, or strife], but with [an attitude of] humility [being neither arrogant nor self-righteous], regard others as more important than yourselves. Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:3-4, AMP)

So don’t serve satan as a stumbling block. Consider what you’re wearing. And be honest, would you want your husband to notice another woman’s body? And I say notice (not look at) because not every man is full of lust. I can assure you that other women AND CHILDREN are noticing your nakedness as well. So humble yourself, and put some clothes on girl!

With nothing but love,

Brandi

♥♥ P.s If you really do desire a godly marriage, I want you to know that nudity repels godly men. If you’re interested, here’s a post on How To choose Modest apparel because this is also the reason why you’re feeling overlooked (or like you’re attracting the wrong men).

Zeeway Apparel